Do you want to spice up your sex life?
You and your partner might have talked repeatedly about having a better sex life, enjoying yourselves more, and simply restoring the flames. But how can you actually do this?
Introducing BDSM gear like restraints, chains, spreaders, and clamps can be a foolproof way to feel the heat one more time. Whether it’s an old kink you’ve always kept hidden or something your partner has suggested, BDSM toys can be intimidating to use for the first time.
But not with us. This guide will tell you how to introduce this kink into the bedroom, with some tips from our sex experts, so you and your partner can enjoy your time to the maximum.
Trying BDSM Toys For the First Time
You and your partner might not be erotic experts, but this doesn’t mean that you can’t explore and play with one another. In fact, you might be surprised with what you both can achieve once you can let go of all your fears and worries.
Contrary to the common belief, BDSM can be soft, romantic, and sensual or kinky, rough, and intense. It’s how you make of it and how you and your partner let things flow.
It’s all about trust and communication, and once you can really relax, you can experience an unmatched level of closeness and intimacy that you both have probably never experienced, even if you’ve been together for years.
So, what are the best tips for a first-time BDSM player? Here is the best advice from our sex experts.
- Talk about it. No matter how intimidating it may seem, you and your partner should discuss your kink openly. Don’t be shy.
- Discuss your boundaries and expectations. Believe it or not, this is one of the aspects that partners actually take more time to practice, and not how to use the toys. You don’t have to approve of anything that doesn’t feel comfortable.
- Do your research. Don’t just press “Add to Cart” without reading the reviews of what you’re planning to buy. Get advice from people who actually used this toy and see if this is what you want to incorporate into your sex life.
- Learn about your toys. Playing with your toys and exploring them outside the bedroom before you bring them to bed is always a good idea. In the heat of the moment, things can get out of control, so you both want to be sure of what you’re doing.
- Try it yourself. If you’re planning on using a toy on your partner, it’s essential to try it yourself and see what it can or can’t do. This way, you can also practice safety practices that you might miss if you’re too horny.
- Think of your safewords. Even if it’s pleasurable, things can be too much, especially if you and your partner are first-timers. Especially with BDSM, things can go from good to bad really fast. Your safeword should be something that neither you nor your partner would say during sex so that the other person knows that they really have to stop.
Which BDSM Toys Should You Use as a Beginner?
Luckily, there are tens of toys and equipment pieces that range from being vanilla to really intense. You can use one at a time or create a scenario where your BDSM gear can be part of another kink, like role-play, master and slave, or puppy play.
We’ll go from the mildest and most beginner-friendly ones to the most intense, and you can evaluate them with your partner and talk about your favourites.
Does this mean you must go through this list from top to bottom if you want to start BDSM for the first time? Absolutely not. You can definitely go full throttle if you and your partner are comfortable enough.
1. Blindfolds
Mental control is always more intense than the physical one. And using leather blindfolds will allow you to surrender to your partner and trust them completely, knowing they’re in charge.
Flexible blindfolds are made of synthetic leather, so they won’t cause any discomfort, no matter how long you use them. Did we mention that they’re absolutely sexy? You can also check the leather masks and use them to elevate a sexy bedroom costume.
2. Cuffs and Restraints
Dive into a sensual world of submission to your partner’s fantasies using cuffs and restraints. You can go for sexy plush handcuffs, Japanese-style silicone handcuffs, or the hogtied hemp binds if you’re an experienced user.
For kinky puppy play, you can use the lined mittens with one of your favourite collars or try the leather cuff and neck set for domination and submission play. We reserve the bondage bar for the fearless BDSM lovers.
3. Paddles, Whips, and Clamps
In BDSM, the line between pain and pleasure usually gets blurry, and with your favourite whip or paddle, you can drive your partner crazy. There are several nipple clamps to try, and each will deliver a different sensation, whether you want to feel something fluffy or the cold metal rubbing against your skin.
4. Gags
Gag play is a crucial and exciting component of BDSM play, and from regular old-school gags to one with a urine tube, the sky is the limit.
5. Medical Instruments
Medical play is a popular kink, but it’s not for the faint of the heart. There are many medical instruments for him and her, but we recommend that you take it easy and slow while trying them out. There are also several toys to use in pain play as part of your domination/submission relationship.
Wrap Up
BDSM is definitely something that can transform your sex life and help you explore new horizons in your relationship. Understanding and discussing boundaries and expectations is necessary when you try to incorporate BDSM gear into your love life.
Luckily, there are several toys to try and examine, but we recommend studying and using them outside the bedroom before you go crazy. You can always go from the mildest to the most hardcore ones, but this is never a must.
